No One Brought a Casserole

After my husband died a few years ago I had dinner with a friend.  We were the discussing the difficulty of death & loss.  I had been married for 55 years and it was definitely an adjustment when my husband died but I hadn't really considered the many losses others go through in their lives.

When my husband died people reached out right away to console my family and me.  They brought casseroles, food, flowers, water, paper products, wine, beer and many cards & letters were sent.  We were comforted on every level and were so very grateful to the many friends who reached out to us.

I remembered that my mother had told me when I was young to always reach out and let others know that you care when there is a loss.  It doesn't matter what you say but they will always remember that you cared.  That was they way I was raised so that's what I did and when I was in need it was repaid tenfold. 

I think it is normal in our society to care for those who are suffering or are in need.  It is a way of life for most of us.  What I never considered was the other kinds of loss like a divorce.  My friend and her husband had divorced many years earlier and although I knew her life changed I didn't realize the sadness and loss she went through.  I was oblivious to it and therefore didn't respond as I normally would have. 

When I was visiting with my friend she told me how hard it had been for her when they divorced.  She said it was a lonely time for her.  A time of rejection and loss and yet......
NO ONE BROUGHT A CASSEROLE.

Her statement touched me deeply and I realized that it is not common for us to nurture and comfort those going through a divorce and yet it may be the most difficult kind of loss.