There Comes A Time When Death is Your Friend

My husband of 55 years died the day after Thanksgiving this year.  It is a difficult thing to deal with but there are some things that do make it easier.  A friend of my mother's told me many years ago that "There is a time when death is your friend."  As I encountered the death I thought about that and realized what a comforting statement that is.

Death is something that comes to all of us but we are, for the most part unprepared to handle it.  My husband had not been in great health for several years but he was still pretty strong and able to take care of himself and do the things he loved like fishing and hunting.  He went to Sonic to get a Green Chili Cheese Burger on Tuesday and while there passed out for a short time.  He was able to drive home but his blood pressure was very high and so we called the ambulance and went to the emergency room. 

While in the emergency room he had a stroke and Friday morning he died.  It went very quickly but there are many things to be grateful for.  First of all he would not have wanted to live if he couldn't take care of himself.  He told us that many times but we don't always get our wishes when it comes to life & death.  Even though we were sad to lose him we were grateful that he didn't suffer on.  He was a strong man and did not fear death. 

When our children & grandchildren gathered around his bed I realized his was a life well lived.  He loved his family and was so proud of the strong & kind individuals our grandchildren had become.  What more could a person want than to love and be loved by your family. 

The immediate feeling of sadness and loss were accompanied by appreciation and gratitude.  Appreciation that his good man was my husband and partner for so many years and gratitude that he didn't suffer.  I believe that grief is much easier when accompanied by gratitude and that became my motto as I face the new normal in my life.