Gratitude

It has been a year this week since I got West Nile Virus.  I am certain that I contracted the disease by being bit by a mosquito on my back patio.  My husband and I enjoy sitting outside looking at our beautiful yard and when the wind blows the cane dances in the breeze.  It is a place of solitude and relaxation for us and even though I am certain that is where I was bit I still enjoy the space.

What a difference a year can make.  I feel like this past year was a time that I was set apart from my life.  I was so ill and in the hospital for 52 days then in therapy for the whole year to recover my strength and physical ability.  It almost seems like the person who was so sick is another person since there is so much that I don't remember.

What I know for sure is that the love and support of my family and friends carried me through when I was unable to carry myself.  I have glimpses of time that I am acutely grateful that I am alive.   I remember going to the Christmas program at church where my grandson played the piano and my granddaughter sang.  All of a sudden I realized that I may not have been there to enjoy that precious moment and I was grateful.  Sometimes a feeling washes over me as I look at the beautiful clouds and consider the beauty of life with gratitude.  I watch my grandchildren succeed as they achieve their goals and I smile and am grateful.

I appreciate the small things much more since my illness and endeavor to live each day with peace and joy.  I try to laugh more and take more time to do nothing in particular.  I am learning the value of merely being rather than doing and find solace in that.  I am much more gentle with myself and have let go the need to achieve and constantly strive to do better.  I am okay with the days and enjoy my home and space.  I am at peace.

As I approach a new year I will celebrate each day the best that I can.  I will share my thoughts on my blog in hopes that some of the Lessons I've Learned might be helpful to someone else and I will face every day with a grateful heart.